PJ

Today I want to write about my son.

Last night I watched 300 for the hundredth time, and I noticed a couple subtle details regarding the father/son relationship I hadn't noticed before.  After the son had been killed, the father said he regretted he hadn't told his son that he was the son he'd loved most.  Now, I don't really have that problem because he's my only son, but that's besides the point.  At age 7, I can already tell he's the son I love most.

I believe when it comes to boys you never know what card you're going to be dealt.  Are you going to get a crazy, loud boy that never seems to calm down?  Or, will you get the boy that is calm, courteous, collected, but still has a love for boy things (sports, cars, etc)?  I believe we lucked out; our boy is of the latter variety.

For me, it's the little things that make the difference.  He's constantly respectful of others, especially adults.  He always wants to do the right thing.  This reminds me of a few times at school he would complain that if he obeyed the rules (of not running, in this case), he'd never get the good seat (or whatever).  He was learning the lesson that good guys finish last.  I thought for sure this would sway him to become a little insubordinate.  It didn't.  In fact the closest he's come to being a "bad kid" was a few weeks ago when he got suspended from school.  Apparently he & a friend were horsing around when PJ bit his friend on the arm.  The kid complained to the lunch lady, and PJ received a suspension.  I was a little afraid that day would come, but when it did, it was easy to blow off.  Boys will be boys.

He's a softy, but he still loves boy things: football, baseball, cars, 4-wheelers, motorcycles, etc.  The few things we have in common, really give me hope for the future.  I love these days with my son.  I just hope there's still a little more uphill before things go downhill.  

What Made You A Car Guy? [Question Of The Day]

Found this on Jalopnik the other day:

What Made You A Car Guy? [Question Of The Day]:

Whether we're born with an innate love of automobiles or not, environmental factors fan the flames. Just ask an Andretti. What made you a car guy (or gal for the 4% of the Jalopnik readership who is female)?


Personally, growing up in a steadfastly working class neighborhood I had little access to fine automobiles or classics. It was mostly trucks and cars kept barely running. So quirky cars like an Isuzu Impulse and Subaru Brat became my objects of affection and shaped me into a strange car guy. The next transformation came when we moved to an apartment complex in Houston and a neighbor's son, a dentist, would bring over well-worn issues of Road & Track too dog-eared for his lobby.


Reading Peter Egan, Phil Hill, and Thos L. Bryant gave me an appreciation of the finer things in life. Finally, a grandfather willing to drive me anywhere to see anything (firetrucks, classic cars, new car shows) sealed the deal. Thus I can like a new fire engine, an old rusty El Camino, and a perfectly restored Bugatti. All in the same day.
What's the source of your car love?

For me, I'd have to say it was my dad taking me to car shows, crash-up derbies, drag races, etc. From there, the cars themselves took over. The countless color schemes, smoke from burnouts, the smell of burnt racing fuel, and the revs of V8 engines, was like the perfume and make-up of a pretty girl walking by. It still makes my heart flutter. The funny thing is, it's not the ride in the car(s) that I remember. I didn't get very many of those.

I actually think I'm more a car guy now than only just a few years ago. I recently let go of all my auto-inhibitions and started taking a car for what it is, rather than how old it is, or who it was made from/by.  I have a greater appreciation for the automobile now than I ever have.

I sometimes notice how my son is attracted to cars.  I'm finding he likes many of the same attributes, but really likes trucks & Jeeps.  ...not my thing, but that's ok.  I really think this stuff runs in the blood.  Thanks dad!

Sunday FAIL

Ask any parent and they'll tell you that at one point within the last week or two they've felt like a failure. Well, Sunday was the day for me. We woke up Sunday morning, and decided to ditch church. This happens on occasion, usually to do family activities, but this time, we had no agenda. (mistake number 1). We decided to go out for a walk, then on to the mall for some school shopping. (mistake numbers 2, & 3). Laura couldn't find the proper shoes for trail walking, & The Somerset Collection always makes me crabby. (I may tackle this in another post). When we got back, Laura & I did some housework, while the kids played with their friends inside, and out.

I should note that having the neighborhood over to play usually ends up with the Laura & I cleaning the shambles that our house becomes. To nip this in the bud, we decided to force the children to go outside and play. While discussing this preemptive action with the wife, it was at this time that I realized that we were both snippy, and probably should have taken naps. On, we trotted.

Fast-forward. The neighborhood kids have left, we are getting in the van to go to a group meeting, and there is stuff all over the yard, my truck, and the driveway. I don't like stuff strewn about the yard, especially while we're gone. I manage to bite the heads off all three kids to pick up their stuff, all within a couple of minutes. It struck me as a pretty-shitty-thing-to-do when I watched my once, chipper daughter, mope her way back to the van after reluctantly walking in the house to put away a water bottle. I had broken her spirit.

Laura has brought to my attention that this is one thing she wants to avoid: breaking their spirits. I agree with her. It's a line that's difficult to see while you're trying to shoehorn your children into being “responsible”. Once you cross it though, you see that joy escape from their eyes. Seeing that rips a hole in my heart.

I am realizing these last few months that, with regard to parent/child relationships, no amount of apologizing can take away the damage that's been done. You might be forgiven, but the only way to escape damaging your children, is to avoid the damage in the first place. It's in this, that I realize I am unable to do this on my own. The only way I can parent properly is to have God by my side.

Technorati Tags: parenting, FAIL

Where does all the time go?

Taking 30 seconds to reflect on all that's happened since my last update, I've determined that I'm way behind!  Oops.  Here's all the things we've been up to:

• Bought a pop-up camper, and drove it to Kentucky for a family reuinion.  It was hot!
• Replaced the struts in my car (by myself), had the car alignment done, twice, and it still pulls to the left.  Arg!
• Determined that our marriage seems to do better when the kids aren't around.
• Decided to put all our kids in public school this fall (for the first time), both of us are nervous.

There's a few other things but they're even less interesting.  I think I'll make a few more entries this month for old-times sake.  I'll be sure to include pictures.

Friends 'n Fam

Technorati Tags: portraits, photos, pictures

Battleship!

Tessa loves Battleship. We played 5 games last night, and at 9 this morning, she comes barging in our bedroom begging to play more. I never would have thought she would have liked this game quite this much. It sure beats video games, which she tends to have an addiction. Kids always amaze. Make sure you take note of my awesome ship placement!

Sledding in '09

Sledding in '09 from Mark Nielsen on Vimeo.

Debris Kills Boy in Stands at Monster Truck Show

"TACOMA, Wash. – Debris flew into the grandstands at a monster truck show in Washington state, killing a 6-year-old boy and injuring another spectator, witnesses and fire officials said Saturday. A red truck came apart while doing doughnuts during the freestyle competition of Friday night's Monster Jam show, the witnesses said. "I can't help but think of how much my 4 year old son LOVES cars/trucks. He would love to be at an event like this. I imagine what this boy was like during the show; happy, exuberant, excited to see the loud monster trucks doing their thing. I can only imagine how I would be in this situation if this were to happen to my son.

read more | digg story

Guilty pleasures...so?

54 by !SOY 89¡ on Zooomr

We all have guilty pleasures, although it's more guilty for men, I'm thinking.  A friend of mine has created a list of his top 5 guilty pleasure movies; one of which is Mean Girls.  I have to admit, I have several guilty pleasures.  Here are a few:

1. Mean Girls
2. Sky High
3. Freaky Friday
   
4. "One Step at a Time" by Jordan Sparks
5. nearly anything by Justin Timberlake
6. "Womanizer" by Britney Spears
7. "Disturbia" & "SOS" by Rihanna
   

As you can see, these are pretty bad. But you need to understand, I don't care. Who's judging me?  My friends? My coworkers? You?

I was talking with a friend the other day about why we're homeschooling our kids. One of the bullet-points that popped in my head was self-esteem.
   I can remember numerous times where my peers in school would give me a hard time about what I liked. I tried my darnedest to blow them off, and enjoy what I liked anyway. I wasn't strong enough. It took many years, (and a wonderful wife) to get over those fears of "what will people think?".
   I want my kids to have the freedom to like what they like, why they like it.  Not because their friends like it.

So, basically I'm exercising my right to like stupid stuff.


Pandora Radio - Listen to Free Internet Radio, Find New Music

Technorati Tags: pandora.com, guilty pleasures, music, movies, freaky friday, mean girls

Sunset

In an effort to ignore the freezing weather & tons of snow falling from the sky...


Sunset by AmateurX on Zooomr

Parenting is more than just the "do's" and the "don't's"

Last Wednesday (10/29/08) I took the girls out to dinner at National Coney Island. We were out and had the opportunity to grab some food outside the house for a change. The kids were pretty excited. They both chatted the whole time, while eating, & coloring on their place-mats. Little Tessa was going on & on about how she wanted her birthday there... (I need to note that this conversation was funny in and of itself, but is not the main focus of this post.) She eventually decided that she wanted to go to Red Robin because they sing, cheer, & bring dessert. Buried in this discussion though, I could see she just wanted to go out to dinner. ...and not just the whole family, but with me specifically. It broke my heart.

It wasn't long ago that I posted about how I was going to take each of the kids out to breakfast, individually, so we can have some quality one-on-one time. Fears of heart attack, and obesity have stifled my plans. I have come to realize, it's not the meal. It's the time. I'm thinking we could go grocery shopping, for that matter, and have a good time.

The more I think about it though, the more I realize it's state of mind. I need to be aware that wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, I could be spending time with the kids. Logistically this could get a little crazy, but I think if it's in my heart, the logistics will follow.

And soeth starteth the film festival...eth

I started this tradition last year and I think it worked well. All year I add "scary" movies to my Netflix que. In October I watch all said scary movies, all month long. It makes for a pretty exciting month of October. Plus, it gets me in the mood for Halloween. This time though, I think I'm going to have to interject some 'kid movies' into the mix. The kids were somewhat annoyed that I used my 'emergency powers' to take over the que. The problem is, last year I watched many, many of these movies, and now I don't have many that I haven't seen. I'm really on the look out for a good, scary (not gory) movie. Take a look at my que (if you have Netflix. I can't figure out how to show it to the public) and give me a recommendation! I need it.

Technorati Tags: movies, October, netflix, Star Wars, scary, Halloween

Music video games (aka Guitar Hero): family friendly?

I was reading a good point-counterpoint over at AnandTech: Parenting And Rock Band 2: Why I'm Not Getting The Game.  Although the wife had some valid points, I still ended up siding with the father. 

For me deciding to buy Guitar Hero III was a no-brainer.  Heck, I didn't even consider the kids until I saw the scantily-clad girl (character) with her thong sticking out of her pants.  Buying the alternate outfit, to cover up the bra-for-a-top, for said character was one of the first things I did.  (I still haven't "unlocked" the devil character for obvious reasons). 

One of the counter-points of the article was about language.  I know, for the most part, they censor the swear words (as a parent, I applaud; as a grown-up, I cringe).  But it's the other words and their respective contexts that I hadn't really thought about.  In fact, even though I had heard 90% of all the songs before, I never payed any attention to the words; heck, I still don't.  So, without dragging this topic on, here's my stance: I'm way too busy trying to hit the notes to pay attention to the words.  I think my kids are the same way.  I'm not worried.

For me Guitar Hero III (and soon to be World Tour) is, or at least should be, part of our homeschool curriculum; hear me out.  I place a great importance on music and film with repsect to our culture.  It is important to me that kids know who Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Rolling Stones, The Doors, Aerosmith, etc, etc, etc are.  Guitar Hero does a pretty good job at exposing my kids to musical culture.  Caveat: I know that there are many, many more genres of music; that's a whole other post. 

So, the bottom line, is that I'm going to let, and even encourage my children to play Guitar Hero Rock Band, et. al.

[Photo by Vracing]

Technorati Tags: music, video games, Guitar Hero, kids, AnandTech, Rock Band,

Saddest Picture You'll See Today

U.S. Army Capt. Charles Ford plays a video game with seven-year-old Wa'ad, who lost an arm and a leg to an improvised bomb, during a visit to the child's home near Muqdadiyah, about 90 kilometers (60 miles) north of Baghdad in Iraq's volatile Diyala province.

read more | digg story

I'm a sucker for financing...Canon 70-200mm yummy goodness

70-200mm...yummy

Amazon.com: Canon EF 70-200mm f/4 L IS USM Lens for Canon Digital SLR Cameras: Camera & Photo

No Interest if Paid in Full in 24 Months...
when you purchase this item or other select Camera, Photo & Video products using the Amazon.com Store Card. Minimum monthly payments required. Applies only to products sold by Amazon.com. Does not apply to products sold on our site by third-party sellers. 1-Click and phone orders do not apply. Offer ends September 30. Additional restrictions apply.

I saw this today, on my usual check-for-deals web searching. I've been wanting this lens ever since it came out a couple of years ago. I haven't really been able to justify the expense. In fact, last year was the first football season where I really wished I had that lens. The girls are cheering again this season, so when I saw this financing deal (and a good price to boot), I started shuffling around in my seat. Picture a 10 year old boy jonesin' to go to the bathroom during a test in class.

Now, all I have to do is justify the cost, v.s. the financing, & see if I can wedge it into the budget.

Photo by GregCee
Technorati Tags: deals, photography, Amazon, photography, budget

Zoom boycott challenge results

Ok, so the other day I posted a challenge directed by the Digital Photography school. I used my 85mm, because that's the only fixed-focal length lens I have. I took many, many pictures. But I only really liked a couple.

Technorati Tags: pictures, photography, family, vacation

Mercy

Technorati Tags: kids, photography, friends

Saturday Breakfasts

In my attempt to gain some rapport with my kids, I have decided to take each one of them, on an individual basis, to breakfast on Saturdays. Last week I spent some time with my oldest, and I’m hoping to squeeze the middle child in this Saturday. There’s a birthday party for my youngest, so don’t be haten’. The key here, is to make it a habit, and priority to spend this valuable time with each kid. I’m envisioning an open communication channel when they’re teenagers…

See more progress on: spend more time with my kids