It's New Year's Day, mid afternoon. I realize that I had left the phone in the van since the night before. I find the phone & it says 34 Missed calls. Oh, crap! I give it to Laura & she checks the messages. She promptly calls her mother who informs her that her 48 year old brother (Laura's uncle) has died. Her mother immediately transitions into yelling at her because she didn't answer her phone, & she's been trying to get a hold of us since 4am. (Now, keep in mind, had I heard the phone, I wouldn't have answered it anyway.) We had to come get the kids. She even managed to drop a few F-bombs to Laura in her fit of rage. Paraphrasing: "You never answer your F-ing cellphone!"
Laura, not use to this kind of verbal abuse, breaks into tears. Right; not because of her uncle dieing, but because of the yelling on the other end of the phone.
Of course, I flip out and declare that they will never watch our kids again, & that there is never an excuse for yelling at somebody like that. I'm on the verge of screaming because I am so offended, & exasperated.
On the 2 hour car ride out to her folks' we discuss further. She makes a good point, that if I had lost somebody close, she would be the first I would yell at. I agreed that we often take out our grief on the people closest to us. And, since anger is the first stage of grief, it only made sense that she was angry at Laura. The problem I have is the intensity, & manner with which that anger was unleashed upon her. I still find this unacceptable, except I have not experienced loss to that degree. I really am curious of your opinion. Please, make a comment. Was that unacceptable?