Resolutions - Revisited

At the beginning of this year I posted my resolutions, and such, for 2010.  Well, here it is, the end of the year.  Let's see if I've accomplished anything of value...

My resolutions for 2010 were as follows:

1. Pray with both my son & my girls before they go to bed.
2. Do coffee or breakfast with all my kids, but especially Carly. (Remember, God has engineered YOU to mesh with your family. You, not Mark, not Ryan, not Will, are the spiritual leader of your family for a REASON.)
3. Continue with small group. It's been a while since I've been encouraged in such a way that I'm motivated to go home and lead my family in the pursuit of following God.
4. Be diligent, honest, & committed to my spending plan. Understand that it's OK to revise the plan as long as we both agree.
5. Join a reading plan on Youversion.com. Make reasonable attempts to stick with it. Hold laura accountable.
6. Pick out a Bible verse with the kids to memorize. Attempt more as time permits.
7. Pray more frequently
8. When is God most apparent to you? Is it during worship? Driving, what?
9. God has placed His desires in our hearts! What are YOU going to do about it?!

Ok, let's see how I did...

1. Fail.  I don't think I did this at all.
2. Neither fail nor success.  Although I didn't really do coffee or breakfast with any of them this year, I did make a point to take them individually out with me to do things, like errand running and such.  It's not nearly the face time I had in mind, but it was something.  And the kids & I did have had some good conversations.  I like this one though, and I think I'll keep it on the list for 2011.
3. Fail.  Joined a small group, but dropped out.  No fault to the group; I was feeling the demand of the commitment I'd made, and I didn't like that.
4. Success!  Although I wouldn't call it a complete success, we did stay (relatively) committed to our spending plan, and managed to come out in the black.  (considering it's post-Christmas I consider that a definite success)  So, to improve upon this goal, I plan to make some revisions, and keep better track of where my money is actually going.
5. Fail.  Although I joined the plan, motivation was nonexistent.  I'm not really sure what the solution is here.
6. Fail.  Completely forgot about this one once I wrote it.
7. Neither fail nor success.  Although I feel I prayed rather frequently, I definitely didn't pray as much as I wanted to.
8. I think this is an ongoing question.  My answer as of now: during Worship.
9. This question fuels a complicated answer that I'm not prepared to answer now.

Although it appears that 2010 was mostly a FAIL for me, I'm not looking at it that way.  I did manage to carve out a new position at work, that I actually like.  Football this year was a success.  The hopes I have for my kids have not subsided. I have worked out at the gym a bit...

That leads me to my resolutions for 2011:

• Continue working out at the gym, but progress toward a 5 day workout week.
• Significantly reduce my daily sugar intake.
• Revise budget to include 401k contributions, and better weekly expenditure tracking
• Read a novel
• Better refine my work duties, responsibilities
• Create an actual schedule for one-on-one time with each of the family members - especially Laura.  (see number 2 above)
• Find a Disciple that works with me.
• Take more pictures, and publish them.
• Create and develop long-term goals
• Pray with, and for my children.
• Learn Mandarin (a little)
• Get another tattoo
• Do at least 1 fun thing with my cousin, Eric
• Visit my sisters (both of them)

It'll be interesting to see how I do this year. 

Resolutions

Today a friend asked me what my spiritual goals/resolutions are for 2010. I didn't really have any definitive resolutions that were specifically spiritual so I didn't really answer the question. On the drive home I managed a little reflection time & came up with a laundry list of things that I want to do, be able to do, or accomplish this year. (Please note that sometimes it helps me think to write in the third person.)

Goals for 2010:

• Pray with both my son & my girls before they go to bed.
• Do coffee or breakfast with all my kids, but especially Carly. (Remember, God has engineered YOU to mesh with your family. You, not Mark, not Ryan, not Will, are the spiritual leader of your family for a REASON.)
• Continue with small group. It's been a while since I've been encouraged in such a way that I'm motivated to go home and lead my family in the pursuit of following God.
• Be diligent, honest, & committed to my spending plan. Understand that it's OK to revise the plan as long as we both agree.
• Join a reading plan on Youversion.com. Make reasonable attempts to stick with it. Hold laura accountable.
• Pick out a Bible verse with the kids to memorize. Attempt more as time permits.
• Pray more frequently
• Baby steps...

I also came up with a couple questions that I'd like to answer:

• When is God most apparent to you? Is it during worship? Driving, what?
• God has placed His desires in our hearts! What are YOU going to do about it?!

Joy revisited

Finding joy has been one of those things that I've struggled with for a long time. Not really knowing what it looks like makes it all the more difficult to know it when I have it. I've always known it's more than just “being happy”. This weekend, God has blessed me with just a taste of what His joy can be. I can only imagine what His joy can look like at its full glory!

There's no doubt about it, the warm sunny weather did a good deal to improve my attitude this weekend. Saturday was a busy day. The morning was packed with Cheer-Off for the OMYFA. It's always chaotic, but usually worth it in the end. Carly's team got 3rd place out of 10ish teams, & the Chargers managed to get the Sportsmanship award (the whole team, football & cheer). It was so wonderful to see the girls enjoy themselves.
From then it was a nice wedding of a friend, followed by a monster truck show for PJ & I. None of these event were all that special. I don't really know how else to explain it, other than “it came from God.”

Sunday got even better. There was a short section of our church service where people could share their testimonies. I'm not averse to offering mine, but most of the time, I have nothing to share. This day was different. I felt lead to share that I had found just a little bit of joy. Ever since, I'd been on a high.
After church I sat in the sun watching as a bunch of kids (neighborhood, church, & ours) played in the leaves, laughed out loud, & chased each other around the house. The Sunday ended with a nice trip to the cider mill & a dinner out.

The funny thing is, it was so similar to weekends past, yet this one had so much more peace & love. It probably sounds a bit cheesy to the outsider, but very authentic to me; and it's clear as to where these feelings are stemming from.

Safety is awesome, but adventure is better.

I often replace God with other things in my life. In the words of Britney, “I am a slaaaave for you”; with “you” being money, children, finances, household responsibilities, etc.

Two nights ago, I thought, “maybe tomorrow I'll actually read some scripture.” Did I? No. I thought about it twice throughout the day, but I failed. The sad thing is, I have a bible sitting here on my desk. Heck, I set my phone on it every day. I'm burying God's Word underneath my daily crap!

I've been praying for safety, and comfort for years, and God has answered those prayers. I knew could lead to a boring life, but I was willing to take that chance. I am now struggling with complacency, feel an itch to expand. Yes, I desire a stable home, job, healthy family. But, where's the joy, the adventure?

I am a very cognitive person, & consider myself aware of my surroundings. I love movies; and I know it's because I can live vicariously through the characters on the screen. It allows me to feel that thrill of adventure, pain & joy of love and family. We as humans hunger for joy & love! The cool thing is, God can provide! You just have to believe.

I can speak it, but living it is considerably harder. I was told recently that I am afraid to ask the tough questions to God. “...Break me, use me...” It's true. I can superficially ask God to use me, but since I'm not asking with my heart, I don't see anything happening. 

Technorati Tags: Britney, Jesus, faith,

The all-elusive Joy

Real Joy by Technowannabe

Joy for me is so difficult to get a-hold of. Some days I can walk throughout my day, arms wide, eyes closed, basking in God's awesomeness. Most days though, I feel stuffed in the box that is my life. Such is the working stiff. I can find joy in my kids (when they're being nice to each other), and nature, even the city in the early morning. Other days I feel like I wouldn't know joy if it kicked me in the face.

For the cognitive soul that I am, “joy” is difficult to wrap my head around. What does it mean to be joyful? What does that look like?

Technorati Tags: Joy, reflection

God's cool.

8:30am

Every once in a while I realize how special I am to God. So far, today is one of those days. I started off in a funk. My heart felt lead to read the Bible a bit here at work, but it wasn't the reading of the Bible, but the “tug” I felt. (I'm also checking out Youversion by recommendation of a friend) I'm actually getting to experience what I hear others so frequently talk about.

A while back I asked God to show me what it meant to give Him my pain/anguish/frustration/anger... Slowly, but surely, I'm starting to figure that out. He's really taking the lead on this, as I am still unable to explain it. I get this peace, sometimes happiness, wash over me following said pain/frustration/etc. I am unbelievably thankful for God's patience with me. With every struggle in my gut, I feel reassurance in my heart. How cool!

I hear it's going to be 65°F today; it's my birthday (read: I am alive one more year); there's a bunch of people coming over tonight to help me celebrate; I received a zillion (10) messages on my Facebook wall wishing me a happy birthday.

It's now 4pm & this has been a difficult day. The potential for anger & frustration is there, but doesn't come to fruition. He keeps my heart open and peaceful. I'm looking forward to the blue sky, some green beer, some friends over, and a bunch of love in the air. Thank you Jesus.

Technorati Tags: birthday, St. Patrick's Day, Jesus